WARNING: Health Dangers RevealedImportant New Warnings
oOo for those who have been drawn
unsuspectingly into the use of bread:
oOo 1.
More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.2. Fully
HALF of all children who grow up in
bread-consuminghouseholds score below average on standardized tests.
oOo oOo3. In the 18th century, when virtually
all bread was baked inthe home,
the average life expectancy was less than 50 years;infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in
childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and
influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 85.7 percent of violent crimes are committed
within
24 hours of eating bread. oOo oOo5.
Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of
bread and given only water to eat
begged for bread after as
little as two days.
oOo 6. Bread is often a "gateway" food item,
leading the user to"harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even
cold cuts!
oOo oOo7.
Bread has been proven to absorb water. oOo oOo
Since the human body is more than 90 percent water,
oOo it
follows that eating bread could
lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey
oOo bread-pudding person.
oOo oOo8. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
9. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as
400 degreesFahrenheit! That kind of heat
can kill an adult in less than one
minute.
10. Most American bread eaters are
utterly unable to distinguish
between significant scientific fact and
meaningless statisticalbabbling. oOo oOoIn light of these frightening statistics, we propose the
following
broad bread restrictions:
oOo oOo oOo 1. No sale of bread to minors.2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete withcelebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.3. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which mayappeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.4. Man cannot/ must not try, to live by bread alone-- oOo oOo[ but also feed on the WORD that God has revealed about living abundantly in Christ!] oOooOo oOo THIS IS CERTAINLY FOOD FOR THOUGHT... but don't overdo it, some "expert" opinions on this topic just might be half-baked. oOo oOoI really had to
pinch myself after reading this-- it surely is a
recipe for disaster in the USA!
If you
encounter ideas that seem
puffed-up, just
punch them down and
begin again.
oOo oOo Be careful!
New dangers can occur when you
yeast expect it.Often these things will
ferment when left alone in a warm, dark place.
oOo oOoThis
gives rise to certain other cautions--
oOo oOoBeware of
those claiming to be
born and bread in the U.S.;
Be suspicious of those that use
floury language,
oOo but have a
lot of dough on their hands-- take them with a
grain of salt;
Don't spread yourself too thin-- it helps
to roll with the punches;
Fold over in the middle and you'll double in size;
oOo oOooOo oOo When pressed for information, ask who kneads to know.Labels: bread, food, health